WHENCE THE DIDDLER?

The story of the invention of the PACKET DIDDLER is the story of Buzz Jackson.

Shortly after he discovered the DIDDLERS, Buzz found himself with ample time to ponder the ramifications. Chained firmly to a clothesline in his goverment-appointed parent's recroom, he spent days examining the intricate patterns that seemed written on the concrete that made up the walls of his new habitation. He began to notice extraordinary patterns of light and dark. Once, after accidentally setting himself on fire with a sprig of the hydroponically grown plant matter (his parents would occasionally administer the substance to him to prevent him from eating his linen and pillows) he saw clearly in the concrete a veritable colony of creatures, all of whom cartwheeled away from his gaze. They were identical to the DIDDLERS he had seen in Mr. Foster's devil box - only much, much smaller, because the Freemasons were not there to feed and care for them.

There in the dark, his curiousity was aroused. In the weeks and months that followed, he devoured each and every one of the dictionaries, encyclopedias, books of science, magazines of anatomy that he found stored in the recroom. Before he devoured them, however, he read through each one carefully. From them, he earned that concrete was made partly from silicates, and that the transistors that powered the devil boxes were made from silicates too...
One does not have to be a DIDDLER to put two and two together.

The intensity of his feeling of revelation could not possibly be related by anyone who has not found himself in the happy circumstance of quiet incarceration, but he soon came to several conclusions.


WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GRAFT A ROCK INTO YOUR LEG?

Does it not become infected?

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU MAKE HUMAN BEINGS SUBJECT TO MINERAL BEINGS?

Can Freemason involvement not be suspected?

DIDDLERS, being mineraline species, are mathematically inclined; but be warned, like all who are mathematically inclined, they do not belong among organic life forms. Charles 'Buzz' Darwin said:

"Silicon beings are naturally hostile to organic beings, and will strive as part of their survival instinct to render their fleshy rivals extinct, such as by putting fluoride in drinking water"

Armed with this knowledge, Buzz started work on the first plasma / binary interface module: it would become the instrument by which the rock being would be subjugated to the meaty being: it was... the PACKET DIDDLER.

He worked for weeks, studying, thinking, debating with the voices in his head. The sun rose with unusual brilliance just as he was dropping the final piece into place. Technically, of course, Buzz finished the prototype in the middle of the night, but the brilliance of the sunrise caaused quite a stir in Saudi Arabia.

'It's gonna be HOT today,' was the comment made by many a vexed Bedouin.

The first model, which needn't be described here, was made using cockroaches, hydroponically grown orchids, and a bic lighter. Although the model did not, strictly speaking, work, Buzz noticed complex mathematical patterns in the rotating lights of the fire trucks that mysteriously appeared shortly after he turned the device on.

The experiment had proven the validity of his theory - all he had to do now was perfect the model. However, in the aftermath of the fire he quickly realised that the Masons were onto him, and he decided he would have to go into hiding. Boldly unhooking himself from the clothesline , he set out into the world. Buzz made many journeys among the Masons, but we will not address them here.

The PACKET DIDDLER that he ended up creating consisted of a small box of fruit flies, two large magnets, a substantial quatnity of hydroponics, and a bug zapper.

PLEASE oh please, tell me how it works!

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