July 29, 1998
Institute of Social Betterness
99 Betterton Bight
We cordially invite your organisation to consider hiring a student from the University of Better Things for the upcoming work term. We run work placement programs for students in Abalone, Acetate, and Antimone, and of course for students in our internationally recognised Onanology program. What is special about the University of Better Things is the fact that all of our students are required to spend their first term living in the forest, subsisting on ants, grubs, and the luscious root of the Tippewa bush. The Tippewa bush is named after Ernest Tippewa, an internationally recognised graduate of the University of Better Things. Thanks to its proclivity toward producing bright students like Mr. Tippewa (now, sadly, deceased), the University enjoys a sterling reputation among young and old people around the world.
No student is permitted to leave the forest until she has demonstrated a thorough understanding of the fundamentals of orienteering, mathematics, English, and Natural Dance. Students living in the forest are not eligible to apply for work terms, so you can be confident that any student you hire from the University of Better Things will be well rounded and hardy.
Please contact us any way
you can. We have telephones and computers. We will provide.